George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and Ben Franklin were on an airplane. Ben throws out a $100 bill and says, “There I just saved a poor family.” George W. Bush then takes out 2 $100 bills and throws them out the plane door. “Ha! I beat you! I just saved two families!” Then Bill Clinton turns to Ben Franklin and then proceeds to push George out the plane. “There,” says Bill. “I just saved the world!”

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they would be able to make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane. When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. “Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?” she asked. “No, thanks,” replied the vultures. “They’re carrion”

Are you one of those people who, around the time of Thanksgiving, are stricken by the grief and anguish of knowing that we are celebrating the beginning of European expansion into America and, tragically, the help given to those Europeans by the Native Americans whose culture and population were subsequently obliterated, annihilated, taken to the brink of extinction through Jacksonian policies and Manifest Destiny, causing but two words to tear through your brain with every bite of stuffing and mashed potatoes, every sip of hot cider and every fork-full of Pumpkin pie–Wounded Knee! Wounded Knee!–to make you wonder why we’re giving thanks for THAT, the horrible irony of the Holiday??

Or are you just pissed because turkeys have feelings too.

-from the The Hampshire Improv Troupe which is doing a show in the ASH Auditorium this Friday (11/19/04) at 10 PM

Not to worry.

With the Blue States in hand, the Democrats have firm

control of 80% of the world’s fresh water, over 90% of our pineapple

and lettuce, 93% of the artichoke production, 95% of America’s export

quality wines, 90% of all cheese production, most of the US

low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the

Ivy League and Seven Sister schools, plus Stanford, CalTech and MIT. We can

live simply but well.

The Red States, on the other hand, now have to cope with 88% of all

obese Americans (and their projected health care cost spike), 92% of

all US mosquitoes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, 100% of all

Televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the

University of Georgia. A high price to pay for controlling the


-taken from cgoat452’s away messege

Tell me everything.

Everything is nothing but nothing is something. (this is not true that everything is nothing, but it is true that nothing is something. If you look at it in a certain light, nothing is impossible, but if you do not have nothing, and don’t have everything else, than you have a paradox, or as i like to put it, a duck)
-Aaron E-J
On a dissimilar light, check out this link: